MENTAL BREAK

In other words, not quite a mental health break.

Watch this. It starts off adorable, then sad, then weird, then...well, just watch and prepare to laugh your buttocks off.

JUST WHAT WE NEEDED FOR BREAKFAST

Yummy, Albany Times-Union. Just deeee-lish for a Monday morning:

Still, if you notice you don't have to clean up your yard because your dog has taken matters into his own mouth, you should mention the behavior to your vet. It could be a sign of something more serious.

"Every now and then we meet a particular dog that is just hard core on this, and they will even eat it right directly from the oven, if you know what I mean," Lucas says.

...

"The other thing that it can be is a little bit of a behavioral issue," Lucas says. "Especially in female dogs that will clean up after their puppies, and some females that are unspayed may have a potential behavioral desire to clean up."

That's right, they're used to keeping their dens and their puppies poo-free, and some dogs just don't lose that instinct even when the puppies are grown.

I am never going to complain about cleaning the Beast's diapers ever again.

IS THERE A DARWIN AWARD FOR DOGS?

Certain among us will be ashamed they laughed at this story. Others, not so much.

Freddy, it could be said, was a brave dog. He saw the alligator in a pond near the pedestrian trail...

He barked.
He jumped in the water.
And the alligator ate him.

This is why we in Castle Lovelybooger are cat people.

HEY BULLDOG...WELCOME BACK TO THE TOP 10

Watch it, shih-tzu - there's a proper dog on its way back up the charts, says the American Kennel Club.

1. Labrador Retriever
2. Yorkshire Terrier
3. German Shepherd
4. Golden Retriever
5. Beagle
6. Boxer
7. Dachshund
8. Poodle
9. Shih Tzu
10. Bulldog

Not that the house currently has room for any sort of canine. Noodle and the Beast would love it, but the cats have veto power. Still, bulldogs always make me smile. And they also make me crave a steak, a cigar, and some gin.

IT'S LIKE A COUNTRY SONG PLAYED BACKWARDS

January 2: long-haul trucker stops at I-84 rest area for a cup of coffee, loses his faithful traveling companion and eventually has to press on without him.

January 10: trucker's route takes him back to the same rest area, and guess who's waiting?

No, not Larry Craig. (He's at the really nasty rest area down on 684.)

Woof woof.