Showing posts with label new york state. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new york state. Show all posts

Monday, February 4, 2008

THEM LOST WALLET BLUES

Lost a credit card? No problem, they'll express-mail a new one and it'll be there in a day or two.

Lose your health-care card? Not a biggy, there's another one coming in a week and in the meantime you can print a temporary card off our website just in case.

Lose that adorable little booklet of the kids' baby pictures? Can of corn; we print one up again on Shutterfly and it's all good.

Lose the driver's license? You'll be waiting four to six weeks, sonny boy. And if you're pulled over in the meantime, deal. Love and kisses, the New York State Department of Motor Vehicles - Now with 1978 service at 2008 prices!

Saturday, January 19, 2008

YOUR WEEKEND ERRANDS ARE ABOUT TO TAKE A LOT LONGER

How does New York plan to fill in a $4.5 billion dollar budget gap and pay for all the goodies Governor Spitzer's been promising hither and yon? Simple. Lotteries. Buttloads of new lotteries.
Wall Street analysts advising the Spitzer administration say any investor who pays $4 billion to operate the lottery will likely have to look beyond the bodegas and convenience stores to higher market venues and a bigger share of middle class players. That could mean lottery games in suburban chain stores like Target...

Doesn't it just figure? Our stops at Target, the one retailer whose checkout lines aren't a tedious death march past ill-trained clerks and malfunctioning scanners, are now going to be gummed up with the same kind of hairy-backed troglodytes who currently jam up your morning coffee stop pondering their scratch-off ticket portfolios.