Me, some time in the distant past, to Beast and Noodle: "Food that has green in it is good for you!"
(Fast forward to the present.)
Beast: "I eating my booger, Daddy. It green, so it good for you. That what you said, Daddy."
Me: "But boogers don't count as food."
Beast: "But they taste good, Daddy!"
Me: "Can't you just gorge on Halloween candy like a normal kid?"
Showing posts with label boogers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boogers. Show all posts
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
MOMMY AND DADDY: THE SCREENPLAY
Eat your heart out, David Mamet:
ME, cuddled with the kids:
Aww, honey. Look what I got.
WIFE:
How come Beast's not squirming like he usually does?
ME:
Because he's concentrating on eating his boogers.
WIFE:
Long as we don't waste any food...
You should hear some of the conversations that start with Her Awesomness saying "Brian, come here and look at your son." Usually it means he's butt naked and something from the condiment shelf is smeared all over his body.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
FOLLOWUP: WHEW, WE'RE NOT THE ONLY ONES
As noted below, my kids like showing me boogers. But at least they don't get put on a tourist pamphlet while they're mining. I feel much better now.
Monday, January 14, 2008
ER, ABOUT THE NAME OF THE BLOG
It started while potty-training the Beast.
As is customary, when he's done his business in the potty we slather on the praise with extreme enthusiasm, complete with Tiger Woods fist-pumps and end-zone celebrations worthy of Chad Johnson (or as worthy as they can be in a 40-square-foot bathroom). So far so good, but the Beast has deduced that since we're so delighted with his potty-related ventures, he can show us anything he extracts from within himself and we'll also react with over-the-top delight. And thus...
Behold: the nose goblin.
Not wanting to send our little fella mixed messages, and believing him too young for a nuanced explanation of eliminative procedures of the north end vis-a-vis eliminative procedures of the south end, I made the mistake of telling the Beast "that's a lovely booger".
(paulharvey)And now you know the REST of the story...(/paulharvey)
Encouraged by my fatherly approval, the Beast now presents -all- of his nostrilaceous product to us for appraisal. And sometimes his older sister the Noodle joins in the fun as well.
All about class, that's us.
As is customary, when he's done his business in the potty we slather on the praise with extreme enthusiasm, complete with Tiger Woods fist-pumps and end-zone celebrations worthy of Chad Johnson (or as worthy as they can be in a 40-square-foot bathroom). So far so good, but the Beast has deduced that since we're so delighted with his potty-related ventures, he can show us anything he extracts from within himself and we'll also react with over-the-top delight. And thus...
Behold: the nose goblin.
Not wanting to send our little fella mixed messages, and believing him too young for a nuanced explanation of eliminative procedures of the north end vis-a-vis eliminative procedures of the south end, I made the mistake of telling the Beast "that's a lovely booger".
(paulharvey)And now you know the REST of the story...(/paulharvey)
Encouraged by my fatherly approval, the Beast now presents -all- of his nostrilaceous product to us for appraisal. And sometimes his older sister the Noodle joins in the fun as well.
All about class, that's us.
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