MERRY BRIS-LESS

Much to his delight, the urologist says Beast will not need any snipping or whatnot in the foreseeable future. We shall speak no more of this until perhaps his bachelor party many years hence.

TOMORROW IS SITUATION DAY

As in, we will hear from Beast's urologist up in Albany as to what's happening with the situation on his situation, if you dig my inflectation. (Look, I've got to at least make an attempt to be oblique so that in a dozen years or so Beast isn't quite as horrified to find that his dad was writing about his john thomas.) Will be a long day, but there's supposed to be ice cream at the end of it. In honor of the Pope's visit we're going to Holy Cow in Red Hook.

WALKING THE GREEN MOHEL? LET'S HOPE NOT

The Beast has been irritable of late, and with good reason. Despite our finest hygienic efforts, the Beast's little beast is infected - and if the medicine and follow-up visits to the pediatric urologist don't have the hoped-for result, it could be snipsville for the little fella. Which we were trying to avoid these past two years or so, seeing as there's no religious reason for us to circumcise the Beast and we'd just as soon let it be his choice down the road.

And twelve years or so from now he'll be so happy we shared all this.