THANKS A BUNCH, JOHNNY DAMON

Cashed in my Father's Day treat a week late and went to the Reds-Yankees game at the Stadium this afternoon with my sister's family, and no sooner had I settled into my seat than...

...say, that foul ball could be headed this way. Right this way, in fact. Maybe I'd better try to OW OW OW OW OW MY LEG MY LEG MY LEG SON OF A better calm down my seven-year-old niece is right behind me and cursing shan't be done.

I may be the only person in the 85-year history of the Stadium to take a foul ball off the shin while sitting in the front row. Nice shot, Johnny. Bet you a week's pay you can't do it again.

And there I was hoping for a moment that I'd have a souvenir for the kids and a story to tell. If that welt gets any bigger I'll at least have the story part. My sister springs for the 12-dollar beer and I'm using it as a cold pack, and meanwhile the fat schlub next to me is showing off the ball like he was Mattingly scooping it backhanded out of the dirt. Oh, give it a rest.

Reds 6, Yanks 0 by the way. The Yanks sure are lucky Cincinnati only comes to town every 30 years or so.

SO MUCH FOR BRINGING THE KIDS TO THE GAME

They got booked for a thingy with Mémère and Pépère on Saturday, so it's me catching up with some old college friends down at Shea for the Mets and my beloved last-place Reds, and doing Mother's Day with the Nana and Her Awesomeness on Sunday. There was an outside chance the kids were going to come along to the game, but then Her Awesomeness had to go and see this, from that Mets game in LA the other day:



And now she's nervous about next month's Yankees-Reds tilt at the Stadium, because my seats are right on the railing over the right-field corner. She's concerned that Abreu might not have the range to catch a kid if one of them goes over.

Since they're building Citi Field in the Shea parking lot, I'm taking trains to the game - and that'll give me a chance to report back to you on what the house wine is for Metro North. $5.50 a cup now, that much I know.

THE KIDS' FIRST BALLGAME(S)

When the Noodle and the Beast came into our lives, I was hoping to be able to show them the wonders of Yankee Stadium and of...well, the 7 train on the way to Shea, at least. Was hoping to wait just a leeeetle bit longer though, but up go those two spiffy new ballparks, and what's more my beloved Reds are coming to both Queens and the Bronx this year, so there's no better time than the present to indoctrinate brainwash let them experience a big-league game for the first time.

Trouble is, the amenities for kids at the two old ballyards have never been much, and having seen that baseball palace in Philadelphia I'm thinking we're doomed if the game turns out not to be to their liking.

Would LOVE any tips on keeping a four-year-old girl and a two-year-old boy occupied at the game.

In the meantime, it's seven hours and counting toward the deadline for the Johan Santana trade to go through. Tick...tick...tick...don't you panic now, Mets fans. Really, just stay relaxed. Deep breaths.