"You peed on me - you owe me bigtime."
"Master Shifu was a panda so it was okay for him to not wear pants."
"Daddy is not going to explain his boogers to you."
"Awww...my little boy mooned Fenway Park."
(Well, he did. From our 12th floor room at the Cambridge Marriott last month. Fat lot of good it did the Yankees.)
Showing posts with label New York Yankees. Show all posts
Showing posts with label New York Yankees. Show all posts
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Saturday, June 21, 2008
THANKS A BUNCH, JOHNNY DAMON
Cashed in my Father's Day treat a week late and went to the Reds-Yankees game at the Stadium this afternoon with my sister's family, and no sooner had I settled into my seat than...
...say, that foul ball could be headed this way. Right this way, in fact. Maybe I'd better try to OW OW OW OW OW MY LEG MY LEG MY LEG SON OF A better calm down my seven-year-old niece is right behind me and cursing shan't be done.
I may be the only person in the 85-year history of the Stadium to take a foul ball off the shin while sitting in the front row. Nice shot, Johnny. Bet you a week's pay you can't do it again.
And there I was hoping for a moment that I'd have a souvenir for the kids and a story to tell. If that welt gets any bigger I'll at least have the story part. My sister springs for the 12-dollar beer and I'm using it as a cold pack, and meanwhile the fat schlub next to me is showing off the ball like he was Mattingly scooping it backhanded out of the dirt. Oh, give it a rest.
Reds 6, Yanks 0 by the way. The Yanks sure are lucky Cincinnati only comes to town every 30 years or so.
...say, that foul ball could be headed this way. Right this way, in fact. Maybe I'd better try to OW OW OW OW OW MY LEG MY LEG MY LEG SON OF A better calm down my seven-year-old niece is right behind me and cursing shan't be done.
I may be the only person in the 85-year history of the Stadium to take a foul ball off the shin while sitting in the front row. Nice shot, Johnny. Bet you a week's pay you can't do it again.
And there I was hoping for a moment that I'd have a souvenir for the kids and a story to tell. If that welt gets any bigger I'll at least have the story part. My sister springs for the 12-dollar beer and I'm using it as a cold pack, and meanwhile the fat schlub next to me is showing off the ball like he was Mattingly scooping it backhanded out of the dirt. Oh, give it a rest.
Reds 6, Yanks 0 by the way. The Yanks sure are lucky Cincinnati only comes to town every 30 years or so.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
IN WHICH MY WIFE EARNED A YEAR OF BACK RUBS
Groveling is called for at this juncture. Anointing of feet as well.
Not that she asked beforehand, but the Nana went ahead and bought four tickets for a bus trip to see "Mary Poppins" on Broadway today - for herself, Noodle, Noodle's cousin, and my saintly sweet splendid sexy spouse. The sort of thing where there was no delicate way of backing out even though it gobbles an entire Sunday. Stuck on a bus for three hours down and three hours back, Her Awesomeness deftly battled the Nana's eccentricities while simultaneously entertaining the girls in all their squealiness.
I owe her bigtime.
Me and the Beast stayed home and had a splendid time doing Man Stuff, complete with lots of dangling-the-boy-upside-down-while-roaring behavior. We toured various area playgrounds, looked at lots of tractors, drew menacing stares from the geese who thought we had designs on their goslings, and saved a turtle that had strolled onto West Kerleys Corners Road without an appreciation for the hazards involved. There was even an Uneventful Nap, that rarest of phenomena.
It hardly mattered that there were simultaneous Noodle-n-Beast meltdowns when the ladies returned home. We're just glad it's all over with, at least until next month when I try to wheedle the wife into allowing that big trip to the Stadium.
Not that she asked beforehand, but the Nana went ahead and bought four tickets for a bus trip to see "Mary Poppins" on Broadway today - for herself, Noodle, Noodle's cousin, and my saintly sweet splendid sexy spouse. The sort of thing where there was no delicate way of backing out even though it gobbles an entire Sunday. Stuck on a bus for three hours down and three hours back, Her Awesomeness deftly battled the Nana's eccentricities while simultaneously entertaining the girls in all their squealiness.
I owe her bigtime.
Me and the Beast stayed home and had a splendid time doing Man Stuff, complete with lots of dangling-the-boy-upside-down-while-roaring behavior. We toured various area playgrounds, looked at lots of tractors, drew menacing stares from the geese who thought we had designs on their goslings, and saved a turtle that had strolled onto West Kerleys Corners Road without an appreciation for the hazards involved. There was even an Uneventful Nap, that rarest of phenomena.
It hardly mattered that there were simultaneous Noodle-n-Beast meltdowns when the ladies returned home. We're just glad it's all over with, at least until next month when I try to wheedle the wife into allowing that big trip to the Stadium.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
FUN WITH LOGISTICS
Here's a look at the addenda to the usual Boogerland work-n-family schedule for tomorrow:
1:10 - Mets game. Praise be, the headcase Oliver Perez isn't starting so this should end at a reasonable time.
2:00-2:30 - pick up Beast and Noodle at school, but not too late because they're napping.
3:30 - Noodle eye doctor appointment. Hand Beast off to Her Awesomeness.
4:10 - Yankee game begins, and hopefully the Mets are done by then so I can put that in the WPDH afternoon news, with Noodle in tow at the radio station.
4:45 - Beast allergist appointment.
5:?? - Rendezvous with wife and Beast; attempt civilized restaurant dinner.
This'll work without a hitch. I'm so sure of it.
1:10 - Mets game. Praise be, the headcase Oliver Perez isn't starting so this should end at a reasonable time.
2:00-2:30 - pick up Beast and Noodle at school, but not too late because they're napping.
3:30 - Noodle eye doctor appointment. Hand Beast off to Her Awesomeness.
4:10 - Yankee game begins, and hopefully the Mets are done by then so I can put that in the WPDH afternoon news, with Noodle in tow at the radio station.
4:45 - Beast allergist appointment.
5:?? - Rendezvous with wife and Beast; attempt civilized restaurant dinner.
This'll work without a hitch. I'm so sure of it.
Friday, February 1, 2008
THE KIDS' FIRST BALLGAME(S)
When the Noodle and the Beast came into our lives, I was hoping to be able to show them the wonders of Yankee Stadium and of...well, the 7 train on the way to Shea, at least. Was hoping to wait just a leeeetle bit longer though, but up go those two spiffy new ballparks, and what's more my beloved Reds are coming to both Queens and the Bronx this year, so there's no better time than the present to indoctrinate brainwash let them experience a big-league game for the first time.
Trouble is, the amenities for kids at the two old ballyards have never been much, and having seen that baseball palace in Philadelphia I'm thinking we're doomed if the game turns out not to be to their liking.
Would LOVE any tips on keeping a four-year-old girl and a two-year-old boy occupied at the game.
In the meantime, it's seven hours and counting toward the deadline for the Johan Santana trade to go through. Tick...tick...tick...don't you panic now, Mets fans. Really, just stay relaxed. Deep breaths.
Trouble is, the amenities for kids at the two old ballyards have never been much, and having seen that baseball palace in Philadelphia I'm thinking we're doomed if the game turns out not to be to their liking.
Would LOVE any tips on keeping a four-year-old girl and a two-year-old boy occupied at the game.
In the meantime, it's seven hours and counting toward the deadline for the Johan Santana trade to go through. Tick...tick...tick...don't you panic now, Mets fans. Really, just stay relaxed. Deep breaths.
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