QUESTIONS THE THEOLOGIANS NEVER ANSWER

From my Noodle, looking at the creche at our local church:

"Mommy, who changed the baby Jesus' diapers?"

Frankly, we're at a loss on that one. Any ideas?

THINGS ONLY PARENTS SAY: ADVENT EDITION

"Jesus does not go in the fridge."

"Careful with Jesus or he'll fall behind the piano."

"I'm not sure who changed Jesus' diapers."

"Yes, it would be nice to have angels around to help change His diapers."

"I don't think any penguins were around in the manger when Jesus was born. Slugs, maybe. But they were very very small so we don't usually see them in nativity scenes."

"Honey, the nativity scene is being torn apart by our son and a stuffed kitten."

"No, angels don't buzz people for fun."

MILESTONES APLENTY

Noodle went to sleep solo for the tenth night last night, so she gets her new ladybug backpack, and a soccer ball she does not want to share with Beast until we explained to her that you need somebody to kick the ball back to you, and who better than a two-and-a-half-year-old with boundless energy?

We're also done with her GoodNites, and hopefully for good!

BETRAYAL ON THE CHANGING TABLE

My poor little guy.

Beast was a little, um, grainy down below the other night, and it fell to me to change him since Her Awesomness was cleaning up after a truly stupendous macaroni-and-cheese-and-peas-and-hot-dog dinner entree. No problem, down comes the pull-up and wow, son, that's redder than a May Day parade in Moscow in the fifties. Gotta get the wipes and --

OWWWW!

This'll be over with in no time, big guy, just --

OWWWWW!

-- let me --

(beseechingly) Daddy, what are you doing to me?

Dude. Oh, little dude. You're gonna make me cry looking at me like that. My sweet trusting decent little guy.

(growling and glaring)

HONEY, COME BAIL ME OUT QUICK BEFORE THE KID HATES ME FOR LIFE.

Lord bless my wife, she came right quick and made the judgment call that this time it was okay if there were a few stray crudniks on the fundament, because those could be hosed off in the tub before getting the bath proper under way. A little oatmeal in the bath, a touch of ointment afterwards, and the lad was right as rain, and once mommy calmed him down he gave me one of his treasured run-n-hugs from all the way down the hall.

Which are only the best things in the world.

THE MAN IS KEEPING US DOWN

Here come the diaper price hikes, as warned:

Last week we started seeing higher shelf prices on both Huggies and Pampers, and today we're seeing a "sale"price of $9.99 per jumbo that used to be $8.99. For size 3, that dollar increase amounts to an increase of just less than three cents per diaper--about 13%! Most families will need to add between $5 and $10 per month to their diaper budgets, or $60 to $100 for the year.

Click the link to find out ways to get around this fiendish diaper-industrial complex plot. The comments are particularly interesting, with several commenters claiming that Wal-Mart is refusing to honor manufacturers' coupons from customers who stock up on diapers and use multiple coupons. I vaguely recall a Target clerk mentioning this policy to me while stocking up for Beast a few weeks ago, but I will have to test the claims for myself when I head out to buy another couple packages of GoodNites and Pull-ups later today. I'll report back...but if you know anything in the meantime, feel free to drop a comment!

UPDATE: No coupon hassles at Target. Wal-Mart to follow after the snow/ice/rain/muckstorm moves through.