MY FAMILY CHRISTMAS CARD, 2008

Really it was.

NO MUTANT CHRISTMAS TREE THIS YEAR

Got our tree at Heller's Farm in Germantown this year, figuring it was the closest cut-your-own to our place. A whole bunch of real beauties up there if you're still looking, along with a few man-I-shoulda-brought-the-camera weirdo mutant trees nobody's going to buy unless they have a bit of a contrary streak and a spouse who's either equally contrary or extremely understanding.

I headed purposefully toward one specimen that looked something like the tuckamore we saw on our honeymoon in Newfoundland back in '01, but Her Awesomeness' romantic streak does not extend that far and she shot me one of Those Looks that indicated my tastes needed to be adjusted toward something a hair more symmetrical and not the Joseph Merrick of Christmas trees.

On the way back, hey! New market in Germantown! Her Awesomeness reports that the coffee at Otto's is excellent and the cookies look tremendous, but they were short on half-and-half and at 3 in the afternoon we scooped up the last two of their homemade donuts. Eh - they haven't been open ten days yet, so some hiccups are to be expected. You open up a new business and hustle, in an out-of-the-way location in this economy, some slack should be cut.

TROUBLE WITH THE TREES?

Been too busy/crazed to actually go get a tree yet.

Are there any decent ones still about? Cut-your-own, pick-off-the-lot, whatever. Please advise and I'll give the relevant merchants a mention or two, soon as I finish cobbling together this meatloaf.

THINGS ONLY PARENTS SAY: ADVENT EDITION

"Jesus does not go in the fridge."

"Careful with Jesus or he'll fall behind the piano."

"I'm not sure who changed Jesus' diapers."

"Yes, it would be nice to have angels around to help change His diapers."

"I don't think any penguins were around in the manger when Jesus was born. Slugs, maybe. But they were very very small so we don't usually see them in nativity scenes."

"Honey, the nativity scene is being torn apart by our son and a stuffed kitten."

"No, angels don't buzz people for fun."

YAY, CHRISTMAS PHOTO TIME!

Either it was Noodle acting up, or Beast, or the camera, or some combination of all three. We wound up with a lot of shots like this:

After about 40 of these...we couldn't even get a good photo-session tantrum pic, that's how bad it was...we gave up and went with the one from our summer trip to New Hampshire, viz:

Pretty much a metaphor for 2008, especially the last few months. The splash at the end was a great relief.

(Photo taken at Santa's Village, Jefferson NH. Great place if you've got small kids. It's an old-school amusement park scaled for smaller children, and without any of that Disneyhassling. We like.)

PLAYMOBIL, THE GATEWAY DRUG

According to Wikipedia:

The first Playmobil sets were themed around Native Americans, construction workers and knights. The first construction worker set included a wheelbarrow, a road roller, ten traffic cones, as well as three crates holding 18 bottles of beer. The German Ministry of Youth intervened in response to this set's packaging, which showed two Playmobil figures discussing their beer consumption (-"That's my fifth
bottle today." -"Don't worry, we've got enough beer.")[1]

Which brings us to the Playmobil nativity set brought home by Her Awesomeness for the kids. Check the size of the flagon the third wise man is hoisting there:

Duuuude. We saw the star and figured there had to be a totally sweet after-hours party or something!

This nativity scene isn't for the itty-bitty ones (<3)>

NO, SANTA'S NOT BRINGING YOU JARTS

The Cool Mom Picks Safer Toy Guide is out. Lovely stuff, too - and it's a handy dads' guide too since I'm the kind of Santa who's at the point where he'd give his kids a rusty chainsaw for Christmas long as it wasn't encased in an impermeable plastic bubble, sixty twist ties and a mile of packing tape.

ALSO, IF YOU DIDN'T NOTICE THERE TO YOUR RIGHT...

...the Boogershoppe is now up and running! Only a few items in there at the moment, things which my family already has and has found favor with, with the exception of that Genesis box set, for which I am furiously lobbying Santa Claus. You buy the stuff through me, same as you would through Amazon, at the same price regardless, and Amazon shows me a little bit of love. And therefore...

If there's something you'd like me to track down, drop a line via knockatize --at-- gmail --dot-- com and I'll try to find it and post it.

Also, for those of you trying to shop local, I'll be trying to get as much local stuff listed as possible in a local version of Boogershoppe, things that you can track down by heading to a Hudson Valley locally-owned store near you instead of to a jam-packed mall full of the sort of people who don't know better than to not walk three abreast in a mall corridor during the holiday shopping season. I'll have the local stuff up soon as I can teach myself the relevant geekery - and again, if you're a local merchant yourself drop me a line and I'll list you. If you've got graphics, what the heck, send them along and I'll try to fit them in. Free, at least until Xmas, while the space lasts.

WONDERFULLY CLEAN IN THE MORNING

It's available in just a few hours as of this posting. Want want want want want:

Daddy promises Santa he will be an extra good boy this holiday season.