THINGS ONLY PARENTS SAY (FAITH-BASED EDITION)

Mom: "Okay, repeat after me. Our Father..."
Beast: "Our Father..."
Mom: "Who art in heaven..."
Beast: "Who art in heaven..."
Mom: "Wait...where are your pants?"
Beast: (pauses) "That's not in the prayer!"

--

Noodle: "Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I should die before I wake...Beast gets extra pancakes? NO FAIR."

--

Noodle: (pointing to sky) "So He's up there?"
Dad: (pointing elsewhere) "And over there too."
Noodle: "Up on the wall?"
Dad: "I suppose so."
Noodle: "There on the floor?"
Dad: "Well, it's kind of a mess down there, but sure."
Noodle: "Under the pillow?"
Dad: "Yes...and behind the door. I like that song, too!"

I KNOW I'M SHOUTING / I LIKE TO SHOUT

Here are some helpful things to shout at the end of "Dora the Explorer" episodes, when she asks what your favorite part was. Quizzical looks from your children 50% guaranteed!

Now then...to get you in the spirit...what was your favorite part?

• The part where Sonny gets whacked at the tollbooth!
• The part where the Nazis open the Ark and totally melt and stuff
• The part where the centurion gives Brian lessons in Latin
• Phoebe Cates in the red bikini
• The part where the music stops and Peter says "A flower?"
• John Henry Bonham...Moby Dick!

Your contributions, as always, are welcome.

ON THE KIDS' PLAYLIST (DADDY IS KVELLING EDITION)

Noodle AND Beast:

Los Endos - Genesis.

They like it. They really like it! Noodle is big on the keyboard-guitar interplay (and we quote: "what's that violin sounding thing, Daddy?"), and Beast's there for the drums. Daddy is a happy prog-dork this morning.

FLU BE DOO BE DOO BE DOO DAH DAY

Looks like the local health officials were right about this year's influenza peaking right on schedule, although what my kids have appears to be a mild case of the creeping shpilkes and not the full-blown flu that's laying people low. Beast has been cranking out the green schmutz at an impressive rate but that hasn't stopped his usual rascality, and now Noodle has picked up a mild fever and she likewise is far from debilitated; she's spending the morning at work with Her Awesomeness and I pick her up for the trip home in a few hours, then it's coloring and bumming out in front of the TV from there on in.

Here, have yourself a song you might never have heard before.

PLEASE DON'T ASK...

...what happened to the week. Two days of ice, sick wife, catching up at work, daffy Nana, and...and...I'm sure there's something else I've forgotten for which I will be justly berated.

Anyway, it's Phil's birthday. Beast and I will drum-duet with our chopsticks tonight in tribute.

WAITING FOR THE SNOW

Here's something to get you in the right frame of mind:

ALSO, IF YOU DIDN'T NOTICE THERE TO YOUR RIGHT...

...the Boogershoppe is now up and running! Only a few items in there at the moment, things which my family already has and has found favor with, with the exception of that Genesis box set, for which I am furiously lobbying Santa Claus. You buy the stuff through me, same as you would through Amazon, at the same price regardless, and Amazon shows me a little bit of love. And therefore...

If there's something you'd like me to track down, drop a line via knockatize --at-- gmail --dot-- com and I'll try to find it and post it.

Also, for those of you trying to shop local, I'll be trying to get as much local stuff listed as possible in a local version of Boogershoppe, things that you can track down by heading to a Hudson Valley locally-owned store near you instead of to a jam-packed mall full of the sort of people who don't know better than to not walk three abreast in a mall corridor during the holiday shopping season. I'll have the local stuff up soon as I can teach myself the relevant geekery - and again, if you're a local merchant yourself drop me a line and I'll list you. If you've got graphics, what the heck, send them along and I'll try to fit them in. Free, at least until Xmas, while the space lasts.

ERASMUS B. DRAGON IN THE HOUSE

Beast and Noodle were up for random reasons repeatedly last night - I can't find Ramone! says the boy, I had a bad dream Daddy and now I need a dream about feeding a baby calf says Noodle, and so on and so forth. Me, I can skate by vegging with Beast during the day, but my darling wife has to go to work and grocery shop what with Cousin Lil coming by for the weekend. Thus the title of this post, with apologies to the Car Talk guys.

Couple new tracks from The Kids' Playlist, though.

Noodle:

Strike The Bell and House Party - both Dan Zanes

Beast:

Home By The Sea - Genesis (the "sit down, sit down, SIT DOWN" part in particular)
Rock Steady - Aretha Franklin

WONDERFULLY CLEAN IN THE MORNING

It's available in just a few hours as of this posting. Want want want want want:

Daddy promises Santa he will be an extra good boy this holiday season.

PIGEONS ARE AS SMART AS 3-YEAR-OLDS

This much I suspected...

Japanese scientists from Keio University have found that pigeons have self-cognitive abilities higher than 3-year-old humans. They have 'trained pigeons to discriminate real-time self-image using mirrors as well as videotaped self-image, and proved that pigeons can recognize video images that reflect their movements as self-image.' Until recently, it was widely admitted that only humans and primates such as chimpanzees could recognize images of themselves. Now, researchers have found that dolphins or elephants also could do it. But these Japanese scientists have proven that pigeons also were able to do it -- and even discriminate paintings of Van Gogh from Chagall.

Well, heck - they fly around enough art museums, you'd think they'd pick it up sooner or later.

At least my kids don't leave fifty tons of sh*t on the Foreign Office roof.

ODDS OF A FULL-ON GENESIS REUNION: 23.5 PERCENT

It may be the first piece in the history of Rolling Stone magazine that wasn't a snide slap at the guys. Mike Rutherford:

The thought was [that] maybe, since the Lamb is about a young Puerto Rican kid and Peter is an old English man, it would be harder to portray him.

Well, yes, there is that.

(pleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpuhLEEEZE do a tour with Pete and Steve...)

/fanboy

UPDATE: Pete says maybe one day it'll happen.

HE SAID HELLO GOODBYE

What? NO!

More than 100 million album sales into his career and roughly two thirds of the way through our interview, Phil Collins casually serves notice of his retirement. Having joined a reformed Genesis for a world tour last year, he says he’s through with the touring and there’s no album planned. He’ll write, but only because he doesn’t know how to stop writing.

I am most thoroughly bummed, but Phil's been known to change his mind before, yes?

NO ROCK-STAR FACES, NO SEQUINS, AND NO CAPES

Happy 58th birthday to the world's greatest keyboard player, Tony Banks of Genesis. Bonus points if you can find any depiction of Tony showing any kind of facial expression while playing. He's the Mariano Rivera of keyboard players. Here's "It's Gonna Get Better":

THE KIDS' PLAYLIST (latest entries)

Noodle:

I Don't Want To Be Alone - Billy Joel

A Trick of the Tail - Genesis (she calls this one the "horns and tail" song)

Beast:

Iko Iko - Dr. John

TWO MORE HOUSEHOLD HOLIDAYS

Happy birthday this week to Steve Hackett:



And Peter Gabriel:



Now get on the horn with the rest of the band and set up a tour already.

PETER GABRIEL: MUSICAL GENIUS, WORLD STATESMAN, CRAPPY SKIER

Peter, you klutz:

Peter Gabriel is recovering after breaking his left leg while skiing in Switzerland.

...

"I hit a rock and I could feel a loud snap as I broke my leg, and then I skied down to the piste, which was a bit stupid."

While laid up, Peter received a package from his old mates in Genesis. It was a fruit basket. And a set list and rehearsal schedule for the 2009 tour. (A man can hope, yes?)

ASIA: THE REUNION

May 6, 1982 was a special day for nerds like me, because that's when Asia in all its utterly uncool prog-pop magnificence played the Mid-Hudson Civic Center.


And now after 25 years they're back with their original lineup of Geoff Downes, John Wetton, Steve Howe and Carl Palmer, and with a new album too. Roger Dean is back to do the cover and everything. I can feel my teenage acne and social awkwardness returning even as I type!

Eww.

Says here they're playing the Paramount Center in Peekskill in April, but that's as close as they're coming unless you feel like roadtripping it to Mohegan Sun. And me, it looks like my 2008 concert budget is going to be splurged on taking my wife to next month's Lyle Lovett/John Hiatt show in Kingston, and any future prog spending goes to the five-man Genesis reunion, whenever that might happen.

HON, WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER GARAGE

In England, an ex-serviceman's club is roughly equivalent to our American Legion or VFW halls...and in Chiddingfold, Surrey, the ex-servicemen's club is shutting down, which is sad not only for the old veterans, but also for the local musicians who rehearsed there over the years.

You may be familiar with them.

At any rate, I know that the Hudson Valley is a bit of a schlep from Surrey, but yours truly stands ready to make my garage and/or back porch available for a rehearsal space should Messrs. Clapton, Banks, Collins and/or Rutherford require it. The garage ceiling is high enough where a small light show may even be possible.