Child development experts will tell us parents to be prepared with age-appropriate answers for the inevitable questions about how they came to be. Being the nuanced and thoughtful dad I am, with none of the previous generations' silly silly hangups about the human reproductive process, I considered myself ready for whatever Socratic queries the Noodle and Beast threw at me.
"Well, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, and they've had a few, and that scene in 'The Thomas Crown Affair' is on, and any other kids are sleeping, and the phone's not ringing, and they're not exhausted, and they don't smell like gasoline and sweat from mowing the lawn, and the litterbox doesn't need cleaning, and the bills have been paid, and the laundry's done, and the dishes are done, and the trash has been taken out, and the cats haven't vomited on the bed, and everybody's been checked for ticks, and nobody has gas, and nobody decided to load up on curry at dinner, and there's no JW's at the door, well, THEN what happens is..."
That's a good start, right?
What I was NOT prepared for was to be cross-examined on the topic by Beast, in the middle of a busy shoe store.
"THAT'S not how babies happen, Daddy. I'm asking mom."
What? I didn't hardly even get started. What did I say?
Wrong movie?
The shoes fit great, however. Kudos to Montano's in Saugerties.
Showing posts with label plugs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label plugs. Show all posts
Friday, August 5, 2011
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
SHOULDA KNOWN
We get completely prepped for the mother of all ice storms and a six-day power outage...and no outage. Not so much as a flicker.
But the day's young and it's still schmutzy outside, and no telling what'll happen this evening.
(plug) Unless you've got WHUD on, of course. Live and local, baby. (/plug)
One parting word of advice: don't go letting your elderly or heart-conditional neighbors and relations try shoveling this stuff. It's crusty, unpleasant and heavy. Get the neighborhood teenagers off their butts and let them earn a buck or twenty, while you play with the Wii for a change.
But the day's young and it's still schmutzy outside, and no telling what'll happen this evening.
(plug) Unless you've got WHUD on, of course. Live and local, baby. (/plug)
One parting word of advice: don't go letting your elderly or heart-conditional neighbors and relations try shoveling this stuff. It's crusty, unpleasant and heavy. Get the neighborhood teenagers off their butts and let them earn a buck or twenty, while you play with the Wii for a change.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
NEW TO THE LIST
Free Range Kids.
Op-ed columnist Lenore Skenazy writes it. Essential stuff if you've had the creeping suspicion that the nation's been increasingly crawling with panicky busybodies who demand the authority to call the shots on what's safe for your child.
I'd write more now, but bedtime calls. Go have a look.
Op-ed columnist Lenore Skenazy writes it. Essential stuff if you've had the creeping suspicion that the nation's been increasingly crawling with panicky busybodies who demand the authority to call the shots on what's safe for your child.
I'd write more now, but bedtime calls. Go have a look.
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