PHIL, YOU NUT

Busy times at the house...we're about to try something new for our semi-staycation: camping out.

Not full-blown Bear Grylls stuff, certainly not. We've got a cabin for starters, and if that works out for Noodle and Beast we'll try something more rustic in the future. Her Awesomeness has been camp-supply hunting all week, and me? I've been watching stuff like this:



It's assuring to know there are places where it's not raining.

IT WAS 42 YEARS AGO TODAY

This has absolutely nothing to do with childrearing, but it's just so stunningly silly it begged for posting. Ladies and gentlemen, "She's Leaving Home":

IN WHICH WE DISCOVER ELMO IS A KILLER STRAIGHT MAN

Ricky's got a point. Why does Elmo wear pajamas when he's going to sleep but go naked the rest of the time?

DISCONCERTING YET FUNNY VIDEO OF THE DAY

What we have here is a mashup of sorts, involving a British toddler, his baby brother, Eric Roberts and Mickey Rourke. If you haven't seen The Pope of Greenwich Village it'll go over your head, but if you have seen it you may giggle a bit, or a lot. Anyway:

FLU BE DOO BE DOO BE DOO DAH DAY

Looks like the local health officials were right about this year's influenza peaking right on schedule, although what my kids have appears to be a mild case of the creeping shpilkes and not the full-blown flu that's laying people low. Beast has been cranking out the green schmutz at an impressive rate but that hasn't stopped his usual rascality, and now Noodle has picked up a mild fever and she likewise is far from debilitated; she's spending the morning at work with Her Awesomeness and I pick her up for the trip home in a few hours, then it's coloring and bumming out in front of the TV from there on in.

Here, have yourself a song you might never have heard before.

SATURDAY TUNEAGE (VALENTINE'S DAY EDITION)

Otis Redding and the Bar-Kays:



Lady and the Tramp



Marvin Gaye:



Lyle Lovett:

PAGING MR. GUMB TO THE WHITE COURTESY PHONE

Hooray, random annoying phone calls. Which is a break from the usual targeted annoying phone calls, but these were from a couple of disaffected yoots with enough time on their hands to jabber at people - except one of them made the mistake of ranting in a threatening tone at Mama Bear and mentioning a daughter in said rant.

In all likelihood the little brat was talking out her ear, but it was 9-1-1 call time, just to be sure. Talked to a pleasant DC Sheriff's deputy who explained to us that although the tone of the call was threatening, nothing in the content per se was threatening, which is logical enough but does nothing to satisfy the urge to pitch said knuckleheads into a filth-encrusted dungeon where they will put the lotion in the basket or get the hose again.

So it's *57 to initiate a trace, followed by a call to the annoyance-call bureau, who have left for the day. Which is a bit of an annoyance.

As if we don't have enough mishegoss to deal with. But at least I've figured out how to handle Valentine's Day even though Her Awesomeness and I will be too tired and broke to have a romantic night out. We're going to do what you're about to do: watch the last couple minutes of City Lights and sob a little:

ON THE SUBLIME BEAUTY OF BREAKFAST FOR DINNER

Had the mid-morning conference with Her Awesomeness and came to a quandary when it came to what the plans were for the kids' dinner tonight...

Me: "We could do breakfast for dinner."

Her: "But we did breakfast for dinner at the diner on
Tuesday."

Me: "True, but that was pancakes and waffles, so tonight we could
do bacon and eggs. And bacon."

Her: "Done!"

Me: "Did I mention bacon?"

Every so often that mass of tissue between my ears still works. I think it's something to do with the bacon motivating it.

SATURDAY NIGHT TUNEAGE

And with a local angle, too! Rhinebeck's own Marshall Crenshaw:

CHRISTMAS TUNEAGE

Charles Brown:



Gordon Lightfoot:



Ray Charles:



Stevie Wonder:



That'll do ya a little, if you've had it up to here with "Wonderful Christmastime" by now.

Merry Christmas.

IN WHICH I GET ALL McGYVER

So tonight at dinner Noodle accidentally bit her tongue. Really gave it a good chomping as only a five-year-old can do. The standard cold packs and other refrigerated soothers were not remotely cutting the mustard...what's a dad to do?

Snapped one of these right off the gutter for my little girl, I did.

Oh, it's not perfectly sterile; of this I am aware. But having told her in the past not to lick the cat, not to eat off the floor, not to drink her bathwater, not to play by the litterbox, not to chew on the DVD case, and not to put the driveway chalk in her ear...how bad could an icicle be?

Reminds me of a song...

UPDATE: Woot! I've just received word this little solution of mine will be featured next week over at parenthacks.com. At last, my fifteen minutes arrives - and remember, you read it here first!

WAITING FOR THE SNOW

Here's something to get you in the right frame of mind:

THE SECOND-CUTEST GIRL ON THE INTERNET

'Scuse us while we get all pretentious with the French subtitles and all, but this young lady wants to tell a story...


Once upon a time... from Capucha on Vimeo.

MENTAL HEALTH BREAK

Ladies and gents, the Benny Goodman Quartet with Lionel Hampton and Gene Krupa.

LOOK WHAT I DONE DID

While distracted by one thing or another, I came across something called animoto.com, where you can cobble together your photos with their music and geekly magic, and produce a mighty slick video - or at least slick by my old-man-chasing-you-off-my-lawn standards:



You get a 30-second freebie to put together, or you can pay $3 a pop for additional length.

MENTAL BREAK

In other words, not quite a mental health break.

Watch this. It starts off adorable, then sad, then weird, then...well, just watch and prepare to laugh your buttocks off.

IT'S IN MY HEAD

And in yours now:

ADDITIONAL YO GABBA GABBAGE

Don't Bite Your Friends?

Did that really have to be said? But again, it's going to get stuck in your head after the first couple of listens. And then you'll have the munchies.

IN WHICH NOODLE EXPLORES THE SOUL-EATING MACHINERY OF THE ENTERTAINMENT BUSINESS

So far she has wanted to be a princess when she grows up, a veterinary instructor, and now she aspires to be a Yo Gabba Gabba cast member or writer or something.

Say what you want about the entertainment business, you cannot watch "Party in My Tummy" and keep a frown on:

SATURDAY MORNING LOVE SONG

Neil Finn is a genius, and I am a big sap, but I defy you not to fall for the hook on Split Enz' "Message To My Girl".