I KNOW I'M SHOUTING / I LIKE TO SHOUT

Here are some helpful things to shout at the end of "Dora the Explorer" episodes, when she asks what your favorite part was. Quizzical looks from your children 50% guaranteed!

Now then...to get you in the spirit...what was your favorite part?

• The part where Sonny gets whacked at the tollbooth!
• The part where the Nazis open the Ark and totally melt and stuff
• The part where the centurion gives Brian lessons in Latin
• Phoebe Cates in the red bikini
• The part where the music stops and Peter says "A flower?"
• John Henry Bonham...Moby Dick!

Your contributions, as always, are welcome.

STATIONS OF THE BUNNY

We've been trying to explain to Noodle, and eventually to Beast, that Easter isn't all about candy and eggs and those mall bunnies who always look like they spent the previous night in an epic blunt-off with Willie and Snoop, e.g.:

Duuuuude. Whoooooa.

So getting beyond the bunny-stuff means explaining Jesus Christ as best we can, and handling questions like "what's spurged mean?" Er, that's 'scourged', my little love. Like we really wanted to go there with a four-year-old. Thank you for that charming contribution to punitive history, Roman Empire.

Then came "They put NAILS in his HANDS?!"

Yes, and this is why Daddy tells you to stay away from his tools.

This kid and her powers of observation, I swear. Next time we're in church we're not sitting anywhere near that particular Station of the Cross.

How come other Catholics with four-year-olds get way cuter Good Friday questions while we're stuck with a three-foot-nine Helen Thomas asking about hyssop? Noodle might be taller than the actual Helen Thomas at this point, but I digress. We tried to distill Easter down to the basics and gently steer away from the gruesome bits, but no.

Maybe it's best to give up while we're behind and let the lads handle the issue:

IS IT BECAUSE HE TOOK OUT ONE OF THOSE SILLY CARDS?

In the UK, prime minister Gordon Brown is getting behind an effort to let hospitals take organs from the deceased without their consent.

MAN: Hello. Uhh, can we have your liver?
MR. BROWN: My what?
MAN: Your liver. It's a large, ehh, glandular organ in your abdomen.

There goes life, imitating Monty Python again.