WELCOME BACK, HON - I CAN TOTALLY EXPLAIN WHY THERE'S A COLANDER FULL OF BARBIE DOLLS IN THE SINK

Her Awesomeness is surprised and relieved upon her return from a day of Woonsocketry.

I got through an entire day by myself with the kids without a) burning the house down, b) getting a visit from CPS/FBI/ATF/etc. wondering what in sam hill I thought I was doing, c) collapsing in a broken heap by noontime, or d) grabbing that bottle of Screech on the top of the cabinet and pounding that bad boy down.

The kids ate something resembling three meals at the appointed time and place, and kept their bedtime grousing to a minimum.

And so we celebr-- oh, that's the "check engine" light, isn't it? Splendid.

PARENTHOOD ABHORS A VACUUM

Last month when I landed my new job, I set this week up so that I'd be off today and have one last free day to tie up loose ends before sallying forth in full regalia. It'll be a long time before I rack up any vacation time.

Beast conveniently filled that bit of space with a technicolor-yawn stomach bug, and the mechanic did his part to fill the household's newly-acquired budgetary space with an "oh by the way you need your 30,000 mile service and that'll be four-five-six-fitty or so..."

...so all that loose-end-tying will have to be shoehorned into some other day as I ensure that Beast has a restful day without any of that knees-bent-running-around-advancing-to-the-barf-bucket behavior.

It. Never. Ends.