"DON'T try to put the donut on your peenie."
"Once again, a toot does not require an announcement. Only an 'excuse me'."
"Pull up your underwear and you won't faceplant in the bathroom."
"Just because Daddy likes to watch the crazy people at Wal-Mart doesn't mean it's polite to stare."
"I told the llamas in your dreams not to spit. Not even on your baby brother."