ME, cuddled with the kids:
Aww, honey. Look what I got.
WIFE:
How come Beast's not squirming like he usually does?
ME:
Because he's concentrating on eating his boogers.
WIFE:
Long as we don't waste any food...
You should hear some of the conversations that start with Her Awesomness saying "Brian, come here and look at your son." Usually it means he's butt naked and something from the condiment shelf is smeared all over his body.
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